Groucho Marx Quotes

Explore Groucho Marxs quotes . Find inspiration and wisdom in Groucho Marx words. Discover the profound thoughts and sayings that define Groucho Marxs unique perspective on life. Dive into our compilation of Groucho Marxs most notable quotes, exclusively at Groucho Marx.

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Explore 69 Groucho Marx Quotes

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it

Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five

Groucho Marx

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again

Groucho Marx

Women should be obscene and not heard

Groucho Marx

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook

Groucho Marx

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse

Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it

Groucho Marx

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up

Groucho Marx

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30

Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke

Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms

Groucho Marx

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Groucho Marx

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you

Groucho Marx

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it

Groucho Marx

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats

Groucho Marx

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